It’s common for people to get a little nervous before presenting in front of a large group of people. It’s natural, because we worry if we’ll mess up or if someone in the audience will notice the small shirt stain we picked up during a spaghetti lunch.

However there are some people who are crippled mentally to the point where they can’t speak publicly at all or suffer from acute physical distress, nausea and panic with just the thought of a group presentation.

If you find yourself in this second camp, you probably suffer from glossophobia: the fear of public speaking or otherwise called speech anxiety. Don’t let it distress you too much though; nearly 75% of the population suffers from glossophobia. In fact, many people claim they would rather die than give a speech.

Symptoms of speech anxiety

Some of the symptoms felt during the “fight or flight” process when one is confronted with the prospect of speaking to a group of people in public or in the process of giving a group presentation include:

• Physical distress or nausea
• Feelings of panic
• Increased heart rate and blood pressure
• Excessive sweating
• Dry mouth
• Stuttering, quivering voice or speechlessness

How to overcome a fear of public speaking

It sounds cheesy but practice giving your speech or presentation in front of a mirror. Make eye contact with yourself. Even though it’s just your reflection, many people still have problems making eye contact. If you can watch yourself, you’ve taken a big step forward believe it or not.

After you master making eye contact with your reflection and giving your speech in front of the mirror, try it out on a friend or family member. Some people even find it helpful to give their speech to a pet or small child. While they may not understand exactly what it is you’re talking about, you’re able to get comfortable speaking with other bodies in the room.

Don’t over prepare. You probably already know this from high school or college: the more you cram for something the more you are likely to not perform your best. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t go over your key points and the general flow of your speech, but don’t work on memorizing it line for line. When you put that kind of pressure in yourself, the more likely you are to feel uncomfortable and not perform to your peak potential.

Recruit a cheering section. If you’re speaking in a public forum, it may make you feel better to have people you know and love in the audience. If possible, have them sit near the back of the room. When you make eye contact with someone all the way in the back, it looks as though you’re making eye contact with the entire audience.

Roll with the punches. If you do forget to touch on a point or get some things in your presentation a little bit out of order, just go with it. Odds are the audience doesn’t even know what happened, so why make a big deal out of it.

Perhaps the best thing to remember before getting situated behind that podium is to relax, take a deep breath and give yourself some encouragement. It’s amazing how far the phrase, “You can do it!” can go.

Public Speaking Tips Site

Check out toastmasters.org and learn how you can become the speaker you want to be. There are some interesting stories, tips and techniques you can read about too!

–Magdalena

Do you have any tips on how to overcome public speaking? Comment and tell us about them!

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I think buttons are kind of disgusting. It’s not so much of a fear as it is a revulsion that I have toward buttons. I’ve had this odd disgust for buttons since at least the age of four. I could and can wear clothes with buttons on them, but I prefer not to. Every now and again as a child I would break down in tears and fight my mom if she tried to make me wear clothes with buttons on them. She usually won. That may have helped me in the long run, an early type of aversion therapy even though neither her nor I knew what the exact problem was.

What I really can’t stand is seeing a jar of buttons or a button that has fallen off onto the floor, they simply repulse me. Touching them is the worst punishment possible, and in the event I need to pick one up and throw it in the garbage, I have to wash my hands right away. The nastiest kinds of buttons are the most common, the clear, plastic, four-holed buttons—nary a dress shirt is made without them.

Koumpounophobia and It’s Causes

Koumpounophobia is a fear of buttons, or button phobia. Button phobia falls under the category of specific phobia, varies from person to person in degree and exact nature, and may or may not be initiated by an activating event.

Phobias in general tend to have a hereditary component, and even in the case of an activating event, the individual would have already had a predisposition to phobias. A specific phobia is an intense fear to something that that holds little potential for actual danger. Among the uncommon and unusual phobias, button phobia seems to be one of the more common ones.

What are the Symptoms?

The degree of Koumpounophobia can range from a mild disgust of buttons to a severe repugnance of even having to say or see the word ‘button.’ Some can’t wear any clothes with buttons on them, while others can’t even be around people who are wearing clothes with buttons at all.

The reactions range from outright panic and distress to moderate discomfort and an ill-at-ease feeling in the presence of buttons. Some buttons appear more or less objectionable to different people—I dislike the clear plastic ones the most, but know a man with the same button repugnance as me who thinks the pearl-coated round ones are the worst.

Some have an actual fear of buttons; they might get stuck in their nose or throat and are therefore a choking hazard. Most don’t perceive any real danger from buttons, but the idea that they are dirty and just plain gross and disgusting is extremely prominent.

General symptoms of a phobia include:

• Shortness of breath or smothering sensation
• Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate
• Chest pain or discomfort
• Trembling or shaking
• Feeling of choking
• Sweating
• Nausea or stomach distress
• Feeling unsteady, dizzy, lightheaded, or faint
• Feelings of unreality or of being detached from yourself
• Feeling of losing control or going crazy
• Fear of dying
• Numbness or tingling sensations
• Hot or cold flashes

What can be done about Koumpounophobia?

Commonly, when the phobia interferes with daily functioning, seeking medical attention from a mental health professional is the best solution. With phobias in general, experts have found that desensitization therapy is the best remedy for specific phobias.

It works by exposing the phobic person to the object or situation which disturbs them. The time of exposure will increase as they learn to deal with the symptoms. Doing the exercise with a trusted friend or professional is recommended. As they learn to make it through the uncomfortable situation, the idea is that the object or situation of fear will decrease and cease to have control over them. They’ll be able to walk through the irrational thoughts and come out feeling more free and serene on the other side.

In the instance of buttons, desensitization might begin by exposure to a jar of buttons in the room for a few minutes, and increase the time daily as the phobic individual begins to make it through the disgust and fear. Being around others who are wearing buttons and being able to eventually wear clothing with buttons themselves is another route to take.

Other general management techniques:

• Deep breathing or cleansing breaths
• Meditation
• Distraction from the obsessive thought such as singing a favorite song, or reciting a favorite quote or movie scene
• Affirmations

However you decide to address the fear of buttons, whether the fear is yours or someone you love, always remember to practice patience and understanding with yourself and others. If it’s not seriously debilitating, also try to see the humor in the irrational thought. Not taking it so seriously yourself can aid in relaxation, and make the phobic situation less stressful.

-Anne

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As a somewhat high-strung person, I needed something to help me calm down and de-stress in order to handle high-paced environments. As Americans, we tend to be on the go from the time we wake up to the time we go to sleep. My day holds no exceptions.

I always associated meditation with eastern religions and a robed guru sitting in the lotus position chanting “OOOMMM.” Although meditation originated in the East, and is rooted in such religions and ways of life as Buddhism, Taoism, and Hinduism, it doesn’t need to be done as a religious or spiritual practice to be useful. Of course it is most helpful with the acknowledgment that we are mind, body and spirit as separate but unified entities. Meditation helps bring attention to these factors, and builds a foundation from which we can find a calm contentedness.

What is meditation?

There are several types of meditation practices, and each religion has specific exercises in mediation that can range anywhere from 4-50 basic types. In western culture, or for non-Buddhists, meditation techniques are used in the search for mental and physical health as well as for Buddhist and non-Buddhist spiritual goals.

The most basic form of meditation is mindfulness of breathing. Focusing on the breath, the meditator learns to acknowledge the amount of thoughts that continuously clutter the mind and add to stress through the struggle to concentrate on single objectives and remain on task.

The idea is that through the practice of mindfulness of breathing, the meditator will learn how to acknowledge the other thoughts that creep in, but then refocus attention onto the inhalation and exhalation of the body, or the job at hand. The struggle of the mind becomes less as the meditator practices the exercise of refocusing attention. Other types of meditation include: contemplation, moving or walking meditation, chanting, and visualization. Types of movement meditation include yoga and Tai chi. Breathing or mindfulness of breathing can also be called stillness meditation.

How to do Breathing Meditation

After you learn the basic breathing technique, you will find that you can meditate anywhere and at any time as the need arises. To begin, set aside 15 minutes a day where you can be comfortable and alone. The morning is ideal as you will start your day in a relaxed and calm state.
1. Wear comfortable clothing and sit in a comfortable position making sure to keep your back straight. A straight back helps keep your mind from becoming sluggish.
2. With your eyes partially closed, breathe in and out naturally paying attention to the feel and sound of your breath. As you become more practiced, you can then employ more specific breathing techniques (See the blog archives for directions on conscious breathing through a three-step process under Prevention through Nutrition).
3. When thoughts come into your mind drawing the focus off of your breath, acknowledge them without judgment, and bring your attention back to your breath.
4. Repeat this process for 15 minutes.

Don’t be surprised if a variety of emotions begin to surface. Some people may even weep. A single emotion such as sadness or nostalgia may surface, or you may feel multiple emotions at once such as anger, sadness and joy. Practice allowing the feelings to surface without judgment, as with the thoughts, and then bringing the focus back to the breath. There are no rules in meditation, so if emotions and thoughts don’t surface, that’s okay too. But if they do, there is a reason for it. The meditation exercise transports these thoughts and feelings from the sub-conscious to the conscious, allowing you to live more deliberately or fully.

When stressful situations arise as the day passes, or if you begin to feel anxious, take a moment to focus on your breath which will help you to de-stress and regain your serenity. Knowing how to meditate can help keep you calmer, and in turn, your blood pressure will remain relatively unaffected by stress and therefore your heart won’t need to work as hard.

-Anne

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Breathing is the most natural thing to do, right? So why am I sitting here writing a post about breathing? Can you believe that most of us are breathing wrong? Well, we’re alive, so we must be doing something right. The thing is, if we learn to breathe a little more consciously and from the diaphragm, we can reduce our stress levels, optimize our sense of smell and taste, and even live a little longer.

There are basically two types of breathing: cleansing and energizing. Cleansing breaths detoxify the body and stress exhalation. Energizing breaths focus on inhalation and collect and store vital energy.

Sounds like basic breathing so far. But what of the spontaneous ’sighs’ and ‘yawns’ we sometimes experience? A sigh is a cleansing breath, a long, forceful exhalation preceded by a quick gulp of air. People sigh when toxins in the bloodstream reach a critical level or energy is running low. In contrast, a yawn is an energizing breath–a long, deep inhalation briefly held in the lungs, followed by a short exhalation.

Breathing is a three step process. Did you ever notice a sleeping child or puppy? The stomach moves up and down as they breathe, not the chest. Take a gradual breath in, and expand your diaphragm. Your stomach should fill up like a balloon. Next, feel the air fill your lungs without lifting your chest or expanding your rib cage. Third, you can feel the air getting up into the top of your lungs. Exhale in the same manner, only the steps are in reverse. When we breathe, as we do, into the rib cage and the clavicle, our breaths are shallow and so not enough oxygen or negative ions are getting into the lungs and subsequently the blood stream leading to lower energy. A cleansing breath helps open the blood vessels in the brain as well, and is a great aid in relieving stress. Slower, deeper breaths will help the body to heat naturally, and comes in handy on a cold February day like today.

Chee-gung has been a formal branch of Chinese medicine for over 2,000 years, and means both ‘breathing exercise’ and ‘energy control’. It was found that it was first referenced in the mid-sixth century B.C. There are many different ways to do exercises in order to learn to breathe properly. This first one is for beginners and takes only 10 minutes a day.

· Dress in loose comfortable clothes.

· Find a comfortable, quiet location.

· Lay on back or sit with back erect in a chair or on the floor

· Count “1″ and breathe in and think “relax” and breathe out.

· Focus attention on breathing and counting.

· Expand diaphragm on breathing in and keep chest still.

· Count up to 10 and then back to 1.

· Practice up to twice daily, 10 minutes each time.

· Monitor your practice.

1. Place one hand on your chest and the other one on your stomach with your little finger just a little above your naval. The movement should come from your lower hand (diaphragm, muscle in stomach) not your chest.
2. Do not try to take in too much air and don’t slow your breathing down too much. Just breathe smoothly and easily through your nose. Do not hold your breath.
3. Count “one” mentally as you breathe in, and think “relax” as you breathe out. Then “two” on the next breath in, and breathe out and think “relax.” Do these until you get to 10 then start back at 1.
4. After about 5-6 weeks of doing chee-gung, gradually begin to slow your counting day by day until you can breathe at a rate of 10 breaths per minute at rest.

-Anne

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Aargh! I’m a little stressed. I set off the smoke alarm yesterday. I was making this big cookie for my co-workers (cause come on let’s face who doesn’t love a big cookie) and it didn’t cook right. I had it in the oven for less than the suggested time and somehow it overflowed leaving a burnt heart-shaped mess of icky goo. Fabulous!

I drive into work the next day and some person almost sideswipes my car because no one in this town knows how to use the roundabout, or traffic circle as they call it. So I’m driving and trying to keep the new cookie I made intact when another genius pulls out in front of me and my tea goes flying because Kia Sephias have miniature cup holders. If all this wasn’t enough, it starts to snow. And guess what? I don’t have any windshield wiper fluid! So I’m driving like a madwoman to get to work and I feel like my chest is going to explode cause it’s 7:40AM and this day just isn’t going right.

What is Stress?

We all face stress throughout our lives. Stress is your body’s response (both psychological and physiological) to any type of demand. The body responds to stress as if you were in danger. This response is often called the “fight-or-flight” response.

Stress hormones are released by your body which can cause sweaty palms, rapid breathing, increased heart rate, slowed digestion, dilated pupils and a sudden burst of energy.

Causes of Stress

The causes of stress vary from person to person. What stresses one person out may have little to no effect on someone else. Below are some common internal and external stressors that may contribute to stress.

Stressors are agents that cause stress and can be either internal or external.

Internal stressors occur due to our own outlook or thoughts and include:
• Having a negative attitude or view of life.
• Nervousness due to fears such as speaking in public, heights, or flying.
• Creating unrealistic or even impossible expectations can lead to high stress levels.
• Feeling as though you must always put the needs of others above your own.

External stressors are things and situations outside your body that cause you to feel threatened or out of control. These include:
• Whether they are positive or negative, major life changes (marriage/divorce, birth/death, increased income/pay cut) can lead to stress.
• Environmental stressors are bothersome and are often beyond our control such as bad weather or noisy neighbors.
• Unexpected or frightening events like escaping a near-miss traffic accident.

Below is a list of the common symptoms for how you feel, how your body functions and how you behave under stress.

Feelings—anxiety, extreme worry, burnout, distraction, forgetfulness and mood swings.

Body—chest pain, headache, high blood pressure, shortness of breath, sleep problems, and upset stomach.

Behavior—change in eating habits (undereating or overeating), crying spells, outbursts of anger, social withdrawal, accident-prone, and lack of motivation.

Tips for Relieving Stress

Eliminate the stressor if possible. You can’t get rid of your in-laws or your any other people, but you can make other changes. For example, if you’re always late leave earlier to eliminate the tension you feel.
Exercise regularly to rid yourself of pent-up aggression.
Think it over. If the stressor is something you can’t control, then don’t worry about it.
Talk about it. Whether it be a trusted friend, a family member or a counselor, sometimes it helps to talk about your problems and let others know what is going on.
Write it down. For one week, keep a stress journal that lists your stressors and your reaction to them. Evaluate the causes of your stress and think about what you can do to alleviate the tension.
Don’t go overboard. Try to set realistic goals for home and work. Be sure to prioritize and work on the most important tasks first.

Home Remedies for Stress

Soothing drinks. Try warm milk and honey at night to help you wind down for the day and relax. Chamomile tea naturally calms the body.

A warm, relaxing bath. Sprinkle your favorite bath salts in the tub, light a scented candle and even read a book or listen to music as you soak in perfect bliss.

Ginger is an antidepressant herb that helps to relieve anxiety and depression.

St. John’s Wort also helps treat anxiety and depression while improving sleep quality.

-Nolan

Do you have any remedies for Stress? Comment and tell us about it!

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